Cramps! A Period Piece

Director Brooke H. Cellars In Attendance!

Living under the thumb of her holier-than-thou mother (Brooklyn Woods) and priggish sister (Harlie Madison), aspiring hairdresser Agnes Applewhite’s (Lauren Kitchen) world opens up when she gets a new job as a shampoo girl at the Hairbrained Beauty Salon. Finding much needed community with her fabulous co-workers (Martini Bear, Wicken Taylor, and Michelle Malentina), Agnes comes into her own as a confident young woman, even attracting the eye of a handsome client (Gabriel Steven Perez) who’d like to take her on a soda fountain date. There’s just one problem: Agnes’ menstrual cramps have been acting up, badly. Between the bloody sheets, terrible nightmares, and excruciating abdominal pain, Agnes’ period problems are so debilitating it’s like something monstrous has taken up residence in her uterus. In fact, you could even say that something has a mind of its own…

A coming-of-age work of feminist body-horror kitsch, Cramps! is the latest addition to a growing subgenre dedicated to the trials and tribulations of inhabiting an assigned female body. Conditions like endometriosis remain little understood by medical establishments that routinely dismiss and diminish women’s health concerns, best treated with some Midol and several glasses of wine as prescribed. Inspired by her own experiences with a uterus gone rogue, director Brooke H. Cellars, with a wry sense of humor, taps into the fear, shame, and uncertainty that force many to suffer through their gynecological woes in silence.

Shot on 35mm film stock and filled with instantly iconic zingers from the mouths of queens, Cellars’ feature debut is a deliciously queer slice of femme neo-camp, equal parts mid-century sex-ed film, drive-in creature-feature, and early John Waters. The wigs are teased, the faces are beat, and the performances gnash the scenery like a wad of Dubble Bubble bubblegum. Cellars comes armed with her own Divine in the form of bearded burlesque beauty Martini Bear as Hairbrained’s cunty owner Laverne Lancaster, while newcomer Lauren Kitchen brings a heightened “golly-gee” naivete to sweet-as-pie Agnes. With its tongue planted firmly in its rouge-stained cheek, Cramps! is a tale of menstrual monstrosities that puts the “diva” in Diva Cup.